08.27.08

every calorie counts

Posted in Health at 10:37 pm by Paloma Cruz

I changed my approach to eating last October. I started eating fruits and vegetables. I cut out junk food. I started to drink lots of water. I cut back on my caffeine. I started to use phrases like “dressing on the side” and “hold the bread.” I watched what I ate, very carefully.

I lost a lot of weight. And I did it while continuing to eat out, without starving myself, and with very few slips.

I’ve stopped losing weight. I’m still overweight.

I know what the problem is. I’ve gotten relaxed, and I’ve stopped watching what I eat. I’m doing silly things like eating poppyseed dressing on my salad at home (200 calories per spoon, versus 35 for the light italian I normally use), drinking diet coke (with all that sodium), having cream with my four cups of tea a day, and cutting back on my water.

Calories add up. 150 here, 50 there, and before you know it, you’re gaining a pound a week.

My big fear is that I’ll let myself slide back into the size I used to be. I stopped losing weight about five months ago and have not gained it back. But it’s time to get back on track.

Every calorie counts. And this week I’m trying to get back into my good habits. That means reading labels, watching my sugar (fruit), and eliminating indulgences.

Wish me luck.

07.12.08

the power of blueberries and where to find them

Posted in Health at 6:44 am by Paloma Cruz

TodayShow.com has a great reason to keep eating blueberries (my new favorite fruit): they are a memory-boosting food. “Berries have some of the highest antioxidant concentrations among fruit, and ALL berries are rich in healthy compounds called anthocyanins and flavanols… which may help protect against the breakdown of brain cells.” Good to know.

In case you need some help finding great local blueberries, the Houstonist blog just posted a very complete listing of all the farmers markets in Houston. I’ve been to a few, but this gives me many more options. Since I started eating better, I’m always looking for good sources of fresh fruits and vegetables.

04.30.08

taking stock of my goals

Posted in Career, Finances, Health at 10:53 pm by Paloma Cruz

Today is the day I’m supposed to do an end-of-month inventory on my goals. But I won’t, I know it. I’ve been avoiding looking at my status against what I’m supposed to be accomplishing.

I don’t want to know.

I haven’t reached my financial goals, I know without even looking. I haven’t achieved my weight loss goals, I know without even looking. I haven’t reached my professional goals, I just know. I don’t need to see it on a sheet of paper to know that.

I worked really hard to make sure that the goals I set this year were realistic. And I’m still falling short.

What’s my problem? If I had a therapist, this is the part where I’d moan about my counter-productive attitudes, my self-destructive tendencies.

The good thing is that these tendencies never make it into my workplace. No matter how much my personal time is wrecked by my personal foibles, they don’t seep into my job. I get my work done, and done well, regardless of what I have to suffer through to make it happen.

A friend of mine convinced me to start the program through “An Artist’s Way at Work.” I’m finding that the daily pages are getting my creative juices flowing. The words that were stuck in my brain, in my throat, are getting out in the pages of my journal, and now in here.

Unfortunately, I’m being slow in actually posting the words, but I am writing them.

Just losing the weight I have lost required tremendous willpower, especially as the people around me were ever-so-subtly attempting to sabotage my commitment. I don’t know if they were aware that that’s what they were doing, but it is. And I survived it.

Thankfully, the sabotage attempts from family have stopped. They seem to understand that I am fully committed to seeing this through.

04.29.08

bad day

Posted in Health at 10:51 pm by Paloma Cruz

Tired, hungry and short-tempered. I’m indulging today, right now, in a bacon cheeseburger with fries and a diet soda.

Diet be damned, at least for today.

This is my first diet cola in more than six months. It will be my first real bacon cheeseburger in just as long.

I won’t bother weighing myself tomorrow. I haven’t weighed myself in more than a week.

I know that I would lose more weight if I were faithful to the diet. The problem is that that’s not fun. My way, I deviate every once in a while and still lose a pound every week or so. As a plus, I’m not so bored with the diet that I quit altogether.

Today is stress-induced. I know that I haven’t been following my diet lately because of stress. My react badly to emotional factors. And there have been a lot of emotional factors lately.

I wish I were one of those people who get stronger with challenges. I always rise to the challenge, always meet my goal, always do the thing that needs to get done — but I sacrifice my personal well-being in the process. I over-eat, sleep less, keep weird hours, and start forgetting things like daily pages and meditation and yoga, and it all goes to hell in a hand basket.

Is work worth that?
What’s my choice?

I’m sitting in an empty restaurant, having “lunch” at 3 PM. I forgot to pack any snacks, protein bars or anything to tide me over. I haven’t been drinking my water, have had too much caffeine and am too stressed. Surely not conducive to a good emotional being.

Did I mention that my back hurts? Yes, one more thing to add to the list.

My friend says “find your bliss.” I’d love to follow that advice, but I don’t know what my bliss is.

Gonna stop typing now, gotta finish my lunch and go back to the office.

11.30.07

weight loss slowed down

Posted in Health at 9:47 am by Paloma Cruz

In the last week my spectacular weight loss results have slowed down. I know that this is normal, but it’s still frustrating.

Breakfast today was a few pieces of melba toast and decaf coffee. Nothing fun.
Lunch will be sauteed shrimp and broccoli.
Dinner will be something nutritious and tasty (I hope).

I’ve been very good. While I see results every day, being good is easy. If I don’t, cheating becomes a greater reality.

I will be good. I will be an adult. I will exhibit will power. {{chanting}}

Wish me luck.

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11.08.07

worth every dollar

Posted in Health at 12:50 pm by Paloma Cruz

Since I started the weight management program on Sunday, I have lost 5 pounds. If visible results continue, I know I’ll continue with the thought that this was worth every dollar it’s costing me.

Yeah for me!

11.07.07

good news (sort of) for fat people

Posted in Health, News at 12:27 pm by Paloma Cruz

Today’s NYT has an article about how peple who are overweight have a lower death rate than those who are normal. Caution, this does not include people who are obese.

Causes of Death Are Linked to a Person’s Weight
– New York Times.

About two years ago, a group of federal researchers reported that
overweight people have a lower death rate than people who are normal
weight, underweight or obese. Now, investigating further, they found
out which diseases are more likely to lead to death in each weight
group.

Linking, for the first time, causes of death to specific weights, they
report that overweight people have a lower death rate because they are
much less likely to die from a grab bag of diseases that includes Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s, infections and lung disease. And that lower risk is not counteracted by increased risks of dying from any other disease, including cancer, diabetes or heart disease.

[snip]

11.02.07

I asked for help

Posted in Health at 11:39 pm by Paloma Cruz

They say that the first step towards resolution/recovery is admitting you have a problem. That may be true. But I think that the most important step is asking for help.

Today I went and signed up for professional help in losing weight. This involved paying out more money than I’m really comfortable with… even hours after I signed on the dotted line.

I promised to do what I’m told and go for check-ins/weigh-ins three times a week. They promised me that I would reach my goal.

Let’s see if that’s true.

Wish me luck.

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10.20.07

the problem is that I don’t live alone

Posted in Health at 12:03 am by Paloma Cruz

There are all sorts of tempting goodies in my apartment. Since I’m not the only person who lives here, I don’t have control over what food does or does not make it into my home. So I come face to face every day with the sorts of food that I so often crave.

I told myself that I need to learn to live with it. I need to learn to ignore the temptations, to work through it. And I convinced myself I could handle it.

I was wrong.

Let us just say that chocolate is not something I need in my refrigerator. Especially chocolate baked goods.

I’m very disappointed in myself right now.

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10.18.07

you know you’re making progress when clothes fit better

Posted in Health at 11:35 am by Paloma Cruz

I haven’t hopped back onto a scale; I’m not doing that until November. But this morning a pair of pants that were too tight just a few weeks ago actually fit well enough to wear. No, they’re not loose, but they were comfortable again.

When your clothes start to fit again, you know you’re on the right track. So the issue of pounds won’t discourage me. My wardrobe beckons.

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